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Buy Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love At Amazon!

Sunday, June 24th, 2012

Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love

Buy Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love At Amazon!

Compare & Purchase Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love at Amazon by clicking here!

List Price: $25.95

Amazon Price: $11.69

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Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love Description:

The Jewish Mother knows what she wants. And what you should want too. In Secrets of a Jewish Mother, you’ll learn how to make her methods your very own, and as result you’ll give and get of love and happiness in great amounts.

In what could be thought of as the Jewish Mother’s Guide to Life, Jill Zarin, the breakout star of Bravo’s hit series, The Real Housewives of New York, teams up with her sister, Lisa Wexler, award-winning host of daily radio program The Lisa Wexler Show, and her mother, the estimable Gloria Kamen who made a splash on Jill’s series last year. Secrets of a Jewish Mother shows readers that being clear about what you want is the best policy, and standing up for yourself and your family is always the right way to go. Using real life examples, stories from Jill, Lisa and Gloria, this mother/daughter trio reveals their secrets to life, love, and happiness.

Some of their Jewish Mother tips include:

• Dating: “A good man is hard to find, but so is a good woman. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.”
• Parenting: “Fair is not always equal; equal is not always fair.”
• Family: “Bar mitzvahs and weddings: The grudge starts here.”
• Money: “Don’t wait ’til you’re dead to give it away.”
• The clichés that matter: “Bring a gift.”

And, remember, a lot of love and a little matzoh ball soup never hurt anyone.

  • Amazon Sales Rank: #665 in Books
  • Published on: 2010-04-15
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 300 pages


  • ISBN13: 9780525951797
  • Condition: NEW
  • Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

Customer Reviews:

What I expected to be warm and fuzzy was cold and calculating1
Update: much has happened after I wrote this review. As you will see in my comments section under my review, someone going by the name of Susan Saunders threatened to take my pet because of the bad review and also in a threatening email. Since then, it was uncovered by others that this reviewer was actually Jill Shapiro Zarin herself and she then, coincidentally, removed the 5 star review(s) she wrote for the book. She changed her profile name but forgot to change her personal information in her wish list mentioning that she is the very Jill who authored the book with birthday November 30th (she just changed her birthday today on her Facebook I am told) in NY NY mom of Ally, wife to Bobby and added family member David Zarin. (There’s more damaging info in my next update, below.) So I now know I was “allegedly” threatened by the author. After this, someone else researched any full name of the five star reviewers and you can see in their comments sections most were determined to be relatives and close personal friends via family pictures on the internet etc, (update: many were deleted after I wrote that sentence.) In all of my years of reviewing, I have never seen this happen or been threatened, much less by an author.

Fortunately, although the review was erased to try to cover this, there is still proof of this. Look in my “comments” section under this review (this won’t display on an iPhone, you can only see the comments section at the bottom of my review on a computer.) and you will find the comments by Susan Saunders that are hidden as “unhelpful” but you can click on the comment to open it. ( update…she just erased it but it’s copied already by tons of websites.)Then click on that screen name and it shows both things she reviewed which, coincidentally, is the Real Housewives dvd set which she reviewed back in 2008 (this profile is not something new just created by a “crazy fan”, unless they knew 2 years ago she was writing a book) where she said Jill Zarin was the only reason she watched the show and they’d better keep her on it, and you can also see where she reviewed this book the day of its release then erased the review after all this came out and she was busted. Interestingly, the only 2 things she ever reviewed. Trying to erase the evidence, did not erase this, fortunately.

Another update: The website Reality Tea, one of the many reporting what happened, just uncovered a screen shot showing that this account has Bobby Zarin’s name on it and was created in 2001 or sooner due to gifts added on the wishlist at that time, long before anyone in the public knew the name Jill Zarin so no, this is not a crazy fan who created a fake profile to frame Jill unless they are a psychic who knew 9 years ago she’d write a book.

Now then, back to the original review, read the comments under this review for the full details on “Amazongate”:

I assure you I went into this with an unbiased review. I did my research and read cover to cover.

First, the relationships chapter basically relates that one should settle…IF he has money. Seriously??? Zarin, who is proud to admit she bought a SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR purse last year shares this advice gem on a happy marriage in the book: “A man who controls the purse strings will ruin your chance of happiness.” (…well especially if you shop for 16-thousand-dollar purses.)

Ironically, on friendship in the book the author suggests that if something happens to hurt your friendship, you should ask for forgiveness 3 times. If that doesn’t work, you need to move on because the sin is on the person who wouldn’t accept your apology and you’ve done all you can. I agree with that. Yet it’s not hard to read about the main author (according to font billing size, Jill Zarin) being down right dirty to a friend who tried to apologize/discuss a predicament and was refuted coldly and rudely by Jill 3 times on camera. Interesting. The sin is on Jill. However, now that the book is out and there are book sales to be made, Jill said she now wants forgiveness for not forgiving (yes, confusing, I know). She is saying she can’t believe this friend will not accept her happily now that it’s convenient for Jill to befriend her again and Ms. Zarin mentions her “hurt” over that…Your book advice says someone in her shoes should move on, Jill. (she asked 3 times and now the sin is on you because you refused her outright tearful begging.) You said “We’re done” 3 times. Plus you called her a “moron” in an interview last week for asking why she was on speaker phone. That doesn’t show that you really want forgiveness, especially because you also said today in an interview that next year will be better without Bethenny on the show because she sucks the oxygen out of the air when she is in a room. Probably two reasons why she doesn’t think you are sincere. Just sayin. How can I follow this advice you write if you yourself think it’s bogus and won’t follow it or openly treat people not in a way a loving “mom figure” exudes to others?

Also, she said in an interview that her daughter is only allowed to fall in love with/or date a certain category of person. I had a hard time with that one too. I don’t think that’s a loving Jewish mother who should, instead, just want her daughter to be happy and find someone who adores her, works hard, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t have addictions, and is a great dad and her daughter adores too? What happened to wanting that for your kid instead? But she isn’t even allowed to DATE someone like that if he doesn’t fit YOUR main goal on what you say will make her life “easier”? For shame.

The book on bulldozing what your child wants in a mate in order to get what you want in a son-in-law, for example, from Lisa: “Of course, my kids would never let me fix them up — they’re still too young to be desperate enough to have their mother set them up on a blind date. But not to worry … I’m out there looking any­way. Who said I needed their permission?”

I hate giving undeserved one star reviews so I had to see for myself if all I read about their “do as I say, not as I do” approach was true as everyone seems to note….because if they actually put together some advice that’s untried or they themselves don’t even believe in, it knocked the book down a notch. So I did research this.

Now back to advice: Her dieting overview just isn’t healthy, nor does it really address the underlying issues of weight gain since she suggests pouring your drink on the food you don’t want to overeat. Not only would most in this economy not see the beauty of that (you COULD also ask the waiter to just box up half in a to go box before it’s served), but I can imagine this one when eating out. Don’t want to be tempted by the rest of your fries on that big order? Pour your glass of wine on it…money is no matter on what that costs…and let the waiter wipe it up, y’all! Wipe away before it gets on your dress! Zarin lovingly dubs the “empty your glass onto your plate or bowl in a restaurant diet” in the book as “Killing your food to stay thin”. I am guessing there won’t be a popular diet book to follow this one or waiters across the US will retaliate, as will all the 5 star restaurants who have to clean all those white tablecloths after Zarin’s food-killing-eating-out suggestion. Bad manners, unkind to waitstaff, disgusting for fellow tablemates to observe, unhealthy eating advice.

How to attract and nab a man? Zarin says it’s not gonna happen unless you wear bright colors. I kid you not. Give the readers some credit here that they are a notch above peacocks or fish because:

1. Ms. Zarin, I respectfully beg to differ. Inner beauty should be worked on first since a mean, negative, dirty and spiteful person dressed in hot pink isn’t gonna fool anyone. If all you had to do to woo someone was to distract them with bright colors then women should wear glitter and all men would be hypnotized. Silly.
2. Angelina Jolie wears mostly black. Enough said.

Some of this stuff simply makes no sense to an educated reader.

The book is actually very negative though as well. The authors fight amongst each other and use personal stories to illustrate points…all which seem to be laced with martyrdom. Because of this, I don’t feel it an appropriate motherly pleasure to read or gift..

I wanted to find this warm and loving but it seemed more like a doctrine in many cases that isn’t loving and could be detrimental on several levels. Not to mention it’s been widely reported that it’s for show rather than actual advice the authors themselves believe. Too, the one who worked on getting it published billed her name in larger font size on the book than her mom’s name which was kind of supposed to be advice mainly from her mom, Gloria. Although the book denotes advice from all 3 authors, Zarin notes that it is garnered from all her mom taught her and her sister and then all the writing was compiled and put together by Zarin’s sister, the third author. I would have expected her mom’s name to be billed largest, or her sister’s because of this, yet the name “Jill Zarin” is about 3-4 times the size of mom or sister on the book cover…Ah well…I guess this book isn’t meant to be seen as an equal effort by the 3 writers.

Or someone just feels a bit more “special”.

I’d say be leery and don’t make your daughter marry a rich guy she isn’t attracted to in spite of this advice. If you marry for money, you earn every penny of it because it won’t be easy in any other way other than financially. And learning to eat healthy could be a better skill than wasting wine and the half of steak left on your plate. Nor is it very classy to do that practice in public or at dinner parties. And don’t put out a book and publicly do everything important in an opposite fashion than you preach.

Now there’s some advice backatcha. :-)

Also, don’t look for insights into Zarin’s show in any way herein or the public drama we’ve seen or heard about. It’s not here. The book concentrates on the 3 author’s experiences not what you see occuring now.

The book price was cut more than 50% after one day (and this is a hardback cover too) after the advance reviews in the papers were out and the book was actually found prior to it’s release in the discount bookstores and now the publisher has dumped what they are already forseeing as an “overstock” of what they printed on the Overstock website. I looked and it is indeed on the Overstock website which is normal to go there after the book has been out for months–but when it happens 3 days after it’s release, while the authors are still doing publicity book tours, the price is sure to go down more—I’d advise waiting if price matters in this economy since the publisher is already expecting to have a large overstock from it’s first printing by the looks of dumping it there after 3 days. I think readers have a bit more clarity than was initially expected into this being filler material rather than eye-opening and believable, I’m sorry to say and that’s the REAL secret.

Not happy! Not happy!1
Secrets of a Jewish Mother is ostensibly a collection of warm fuzzies about life, love, and friendship from two generations of a Jewish family. The entire reason for its having been written in the first place, however, is to satisfy the ego of Jill Zarin, currently on the cast of the Real Housewives of New York City. Every week we see our beloved author constantly degrade and demean former friends, turn up her nose at the lower classes, and in general act like an entitled snit. Yet we are supposed to listen to what she says, even though it comes from quite a disingenuous source.

Fortunately the book never tries to be anything but what it is, a trite hodgepodge of anecdotes that anyone over 13 should have learned simply by being a member of society. There is nothing new here, no deep psychoanalysis, no revelatory theories about what makes people tick, nothing that you couldn’t glean from a few hours watching Lifetime. Then again, with Jill Zarin on the cover did you expect anything more than banal, uninspiring melodrama? Get a hobby.

I’ve never watched the show and I feel duped into buying this book!1

I am totally unfamiliar with the tv show I now discover one of the authors is on and plan to remain so. I was at a bookstore over the weekend and saw this book. Honestly, I thought it a great price because you never see just-realized hard back books on sale for the cost of an older paperback and I’ll admit it looked promising and fun and I’m never one to pass up a good deal for a good book. Still, I wanted to do a web search and read what others thought first so I did so with my iPhone before I purchased the book. I quickly glanced at one review that called this “literary genius” and thought it worth the risk for that alone and I bought it.

I was aghast to find advice in this book that one should marry into a loveless marriage if he can afford to care for you in other ways “You should always marry a man who loves you more than you love him.” How miserable to care more about what he buys you then how attracted you are to him and how much you feel for him. I would never tell a daughter to not marry someone she is crazy about! How about “Find someone who is just as crazy about you as you are him.” Is that not better??? Yet, the book never says that…it says one should settle and be “taken care of”.

Is this everyday advice to tell me I should start my crazy long day of work by putting on false eyelashes?? If I am not going to the Oscars, people would look at me very funny all day. Not to mention the time needed to apply them and remove them and how bad they are for your real lashes.

How about the advice that I should photograph myself before leaving the house because sometimes what you look like in person is different from what you look like in print so that way, if I am photographed during the day, I can know in advance how it will play out and can make the needed adjustments or wardrobe changes prior to leaving the house? This is honestly not a gag gift??? I have yet to have the papparazzi follow me as soon as I hit the driveway and by the time I put on my false eyelashes and studied a photograph and made adjustments I’d be late for the grocery store or work.

After several hours of reading and then thinking I must have read a review on the wrong book, I signed back onto this site and read the comments under that review and found out the author of that review, in his comment section, admitted to being a personal friend of Jill Zarin’s and couldn’t name one line or subject from the book when pressed to do so. (you can see this for yourself in the comment section under his review.) Then I looked at the other favorable reviews and saw they all sounded like a Public Reltions release…still had no specific details about the book, yet had a “call to action” like in a commercial, (rather than a book review stating an opinion) such as “Buy this for your aunts, grandmothers, mothers, and daughters!” Or, after the book had been out one day another said “I have read this book many times and refer to it often!” No book review I have ever read implores someone to buy it. They simply say why they liked it. Then, reading the majority of other reviews I was finally in agreement. I had been duped.

I don’t think these people have a grasp of real life. I am NOT going to pour my drink on my food when I am out to dinner so that I won’t be tempted to eat it. Not only would my tablemates think ill of my manners, but I would hardly want a waiter to have to spill my mess all over himself or clean up a white tablecloth I just trashed, out of my own inability for having to eat like a real person and simply have the rest of the meal boxed up so that I could enjoy it tomorrow. That would also save me money which was something never considered in this book. I would rather bag the meal and give it to a homeless person than be that inconsiderate because of my inability to have self-control or a healthy diet.

False eyelashes last one to two wearings before being stretched out. If I wore a pair a day, at 5 bucks a pop, I would have just spent $155 per month. And that’s a CHEAP pair. Now add eyelash glue to that and glue remover and the cost of all those wasted meals they advise I create in their diet section and the cost of the therapist I would have to see for marrying someone I didn’t love on purpose, just for money…

…and this book, if I had listened to it, would have cost me far more than the bargain bin price it was slashed to the day after it’s release.

I do not watch the reality show this author is on, nor will I ever after being duped into this purchase by reviews admittedly from friends of the author on Amazon just to help even out the ranking by all the people who actually read it honestly, can state why they hated it with specific examples, and hhad no bias from being a family member or friend of the author. I am speechless and I wish they had been.

“You don’t have to be Jewish to read this book, but after reading this book everyone will want to be Jewish. The best practical advice a girl could need from three extraordinary Jewish mothers….Jill’s, Lisa’s, and Gloria’s advice will save you a lifetime of aggravation.”
-Patti Stanger, Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker

“Gloria epitomizes the Jewish Mother! She has a heart of gold and earrings to match!”
-Fran Drescher

“You don’t have to be Jewish to need a good Jewish mother. Gloria has sooooooo much good advice….Chicken soup has got nothing on this lady.”
-Molly Shannon

About the Author
Jill Zarin is one of the stars of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New York City.
Lisa Wexler is a lawyer and host of the Lisa Wexler Show on the Cox radio stations. She lives in Westport, Connecticut.
Gloria Kamen, their mother, was the surprise hit of Real Housewives season two. She will be writing her “Ask Gloria” advice column when season three premiers in March 2010. Gloria lives in Boca Raton, Florida.